I AM SO SICK OF THOSE "FITNESS MADE SIMPLE" COMMERCIALS. I AM SO SICK OF THOSE "FITNESS MADE SIMPLE" COMMERCIALS.
Anyone who watches a lot of Food Network, HGTV, and ESPN should know what I'm talking about, as those 3 channels are inundated with these highly annoying commercials featuring an ear-scathing jingle that makes you want to tear your hair out.
Let me remind you all in case you don't know what I'm talking about.
It's fitness made simple (do do do)
Made for real people (do do do)
(blah blah blah words I don't know)
Seeing results
AND LIVING BETTER LIVES!!!
Everytime I hear that song, my life is shortened by one day due to the intense trauma it causes me. I hear it about 4 times an hour. Oh believe me, I try to mute it, but I never make it on time. I hear the first line of that jingle and damage done, the whole song is in my head.
I. Fucking. Hate. It.
(Oh yeah. And what's up with the spokesperson. You'd think someone who spends that much time on his bod would do something about his hair ... and face .. oh shoot, his whole head. You're not going to take over the world with your plethora of commercials Mr. Overly Buff, not with your mismatched body!!!!)
Posted by Nancy at 12:18 AM | Comments (4)
Subway Ends Free-Sandwich Promotion
The Subway restaurant chain said Thursday it is ending its decades-old free sandwich promotion, amid concerns that counterfeiters have been creating and selling copies of the restaurant's proof-of-purchase stamps and cards.
Goddamn you dumb, dishonest, counterfeiting little shits. Thanks for ruining it for everyone. I had about 4 free sandwiches of those saved up for a rainy day. Thanks alot, ASSHOLES.
Posted by Nancy at 10:20 PM
When I was in grade school and hung out at the library (yes I hung out at the library, go ahead and laugh, but in my defense it was a happenin' place at the time) we literally got beaten with sticks and thrown out because we were so loud. Okay, not really, but we should have. Librarians would give us the "get the hell out of here you annoying shit head" glare that I became familiar with giving once I started working in retail. My friends and I were annoying. We would giggle and run through the library and I think I once wrote a cuss word on the table once. (It was the cool thing to do at the time okay? Stupid, but cool). We got angry warnings from the library patrons to be quiet plenty of times and we even got kicked out a few times.
And now, I fucking loathe kids that behaved like I did. Right now I'm at the library working on an argumentative essay on stem cell research and these kids are all over the place. When I was their age, the library merely served as a hangout but nowadays, these places might as well be singles bars for underaged kiddies! I won't be surprised to see children making out in the bathrooms.
But what's even worse is the adults yammering on like this is an outdoor cafe. I don't want to know about your CPA certification, dickwad. Keep your fucking voice down. I'm trying to write a paper. This is a library for godsakes.
And if your brat toddler won't stop screaming, wouldn't it be easier to take him outside instead of yelling at him to shut up?
The librarians are not even trying to keep everyone quiet, they themselves are gossiping and giggling. Since when did this place get rid of their "Quiet Please This Is A Library For God's Sakes" rules?
I must be suffering from bad karma. God hates me.
Posted by Nancy at 08:18 PM
I MISS LAS VEGAS SOOOOO MUCH. I HAD SUCH A FREAKING AWESOME TIME THERE I AM SO SAD TO BE BACK IN THIS PATHETIC HELL HOLE CALLED THE BAY AREA.
Vegas pictures soon.
Posted by Nancy at 12:37 AM
To the uncivilized idiots of the world, specifically those present at CSUH'S computer lab:
COVER YOUR MOUTHS YOU SONS OF BITCHES
Posted by Nancy at 12:19 PM
I may hate (loathe) the little town in which I live, but I give MADDD PROPS to our police department. MADD PROPS.
I've had many a battle with the Annoying Mofo Neighbors blasting the Mariachi music. They like to broadcast their love for annoying Mexican music loudly and proudly sing along with it. I have nothing against this music, in fact I enjoy it while eating enchiladas at Chevy's. But not in the middle of the night (at 1:30 am!) when I'm trying to surf the net for hot Colin Farrell (scroll down for a good one, by the way) and Michael Vartan pictures. It's a mood killer, you know ... you're peacefully having a moment with a beautiful JPEG and then you're rudely interrupted by a unanimous "ARRRRRRIBAAA WEEEE!!!!" by the Mofos you have the unfortunate pleasure of living across the backyard from.
Anyway ... so I tried to tolerate this annoying racket by laying here, knawing on my bedsheets hoping they'll shut the hell up. Well that lasted about a nanosecond so I decided to call the police. I've hit my boiling point by this time. I told them about the apparent Fiesta going on in my neighbors backyard and they were more than happy to "check it out" as the operator told me.
I have no idea what compelled me to actually walk outside and up the block in the middle of the night, but I did. I think I wanted to get the house's address for future reference. It seems that the fear of abduction that Forensic Files instilled in me dissipated as soon as the Mexican music had unleashed my inner devil. Anyway, what was I saying.. oh yeah, I walked outside, not even 5 minutes had passed after I called the police and I already saw an officer walking around, determined to find the source of the annoying screeching! Isn't that awesome! If only the post office worked with such speed and valor! So I walked back down to my house, and whaddayouknow .. Satan's Screech had stopped! Hooray!!! Nancy: 1, Stupid Ass Annoying Mofo Neighbors: 0!!!
So yeah, moral of the story: police officers are evil for issuing traffic citations and ganging up on people up beating them up with police sticks and all, but they're totally awesome when you need to tell off some neighbors in the middle of the night! :-D
Posted by Nancy at 01:51 AM
(I think I have posted about this before, but the fact that my message has not gotten out there, has not made its way to the hearts and minds of the nasty smell perpetrators, prompted yet another rant from yours truly.)
So, I have a 1.5 hour break in between my hellish classes on monday so I'm sitting here in the computer lab and as various people walk past my tiny little cubicle here, I have to wonder, why do people smell so bad? I mean, that's not to say that I am the best smelling person 24/7, I know there are times and places where one is not able to control the situation, but, BUT! At least I do make a conscious effort to be wary of any horrid scents that may emanate from my skin, and carry around a bottle of body splash to mask any nasty odors. Yes, yes I do. DEODORANT, PEOPLE. Available at Walgreens, Longs and your friendly neighborhood drugstore. You twist the little dial until the stuff comes out and you rub it underneath your armpits. It really isn't that hard. Oh, and if you choose to whip up concoctions made of about 3 pounds of garlic, curry and seafood, let the said concoction rot in the fridge, and rub it all over your clothing, come to school, pass by MY computer cubicle, then that's your choice. Just don't get offended when I begin spraying Lysol ON you. Yeah.
Hey did you know that when you're smelling something nasty (I learned about this in my human physiology class), that you're actually inhaling the scent molecules of the nasty smell perpetrator? Yeah, the STUFF coming from the pores of the smelly person is actually ENTERING your nose, your bloodstream, and god knows what else. Isn't that gross? Furthermore, you know how you instinctively wrinkle up your face and gag when you come across a nasty odor? Well, that's your body's way of telling you: DANGER! DANGER AHEAD! Yeah, it is. Every time you feel pain or discomfort, its your body's way of telling you to STAY AWAY or you might die.
Uh, yeah. That is all. Genetics lab awaits. Bye bye.
Posted by Nancy at 02:30 PM
I really hate temporarily dislike brainless those who I wrongly perceive as feeble cheap asses, slightly more frugal individuals, who may be the victims of my raging premenstrual syndrome.
Posted by Nancy at 10:30 PM
Several things --
1. I want to kill the brainless gits across the backyard for blasting their fucking mariachi music the whole goddamned day (month, year). Okay, maybe not kill, but rather exhibit dramatic force knocking down their front door, only before rendering them unconscious by inflicting strong blows to their heads using the speakers blasting the aformentioned music. Oh, and maybe I can crush a few of those horrid CDs into tiny sharp pieces and force them down their throats. See if they like that.
2. The brainless gits' child, the Spawn of Satan, keeps wailing at the top of her lungs in Spanish. She belongs in a pound.
3. I hate, loathe where I live. I mean that from the bottom of my heart, from the depths of my soul.
4. Is throwing a brick through a window with a note bearing the words "Turn off the music before I render you unconscious" illegal?
Posted by Nancy at 08:46 PM
I'm thinking of wearing one of these shirts to the next family gathering:
I just saw these people a month ago, and four months prior to that, and they keep asking me the same damn question, as if a month is going to change anything. What do they want me to say ... instead of "a year" it will be "Oh, 11 months, 2 days and 4 hours..." Is it an exact count they want? Are they senile? Do they like inflicting pressure on me? Did they think I was able to magically hire a pack of house elves to infiltrate my school's records and forge documents to make it seem I'm closer to graduating than I originally thought? I swear, if it weren't for the awesome bibinka or ginataan these relatives feed me...
Posted by Nancy at 04:14 PM