Cell phone evolution:
It makes me laugh how I actually used to carry that brick around. And worse, how I thought it was cool.
Posted by Nancy at 12:07 AM
I feel like we're living in Angels & Demons (Dan Brown's novel). I think anyone else who's read the book can identify with me on this one. Let's just hope this doesn't progress like the book did. That wouldn't be too good.
So earlier today, I was clicking around on the Vatican's website for some reason and an Outlook Express dialog box popped up, prompting me to email the Pope. Yeah, the Pope has an email address, I had no idea. So I thought I might as well send him a farewell message since I spent 12 years in Catholic school studying this man and wrote a few words about resting in peace and what not .. and then I clicked Send, forgetting to delete my outgoing signature. And so the end of my get-well message to the Pope reads:
Anything less than the best is a felony.
- Vanilla Ice
Har. Let's hope the Vatican disregards that part.
Posted by Nancy at 07:27 PM
Starbucks Coffee Liqueur ... omg.
If this tastes anything like a frappuccino, then I'm in trouble.
Posted by Nancy at 05:18 PM
Welps. Apparently the whole country is all about vaginal cleanliness because they decided to re-elect a complete douche.
Posted by Nancy at 12:51 AM
You are twenty more times more awesome than I am. No, a hundred.
Totally awesome.
Posted by Nancy at 11:54 PM
MY POOR CAR
(Thanks, Auto Collision Center DC for the webcam peeks of my car's surgery)
Posted by Nancy at 02:57 PM
Why must my new obsession/addiction cost so much?
At nearly $3-4 dollars a pop, I'm going to be one broke ass mofo (as if I wasn't already), but a healthy one at that!
Posted by Nancy at 10:27 PM
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Posted by Nancy at 12:26 PM
Confessions of a commuter, volume 1:
Occasionally, when I'm cruising down the highway near one of those slow moving big rigs, I'd cut in front of it and gradually slow down until the driver gets pissed off. Eventually he'd start honking at me. Usually this occurs at about 5-7 mph below his original speed of 55-60 mph. Ahaha ... he'd get all pissed off and all the while I'm in my car going, "How do ya like it now BIZZATCH?!"
Posted by Nancy at 10:11 PM
You have small manhood
Needing "vroom" to compensate
Big exhaust, small wang
Posted by Nancy at 10:54 PM
HELLA syn: HECKA -
adj. - 1) To a high degree or extent. 2) Truly, absolutely. noun 3) A stupid slang word consciously used by stupid people.
I hate the word "hella." I hate that word more than I hate ricerockets. And that's saying a lot. But, what I hate even more that that is the fact that on occasion, I unintentionally use it. I want to bitchslap myself every time I catch myself saying it.
I was raised in Daly City, which many believe was the birthplace of such a word (and various derivations from it too), and being raised among Daly City natvies who seemigly like to take on ghetto facades through excessive use of slang, one can't help but soak up bad culture.
The other day I said something like "Gosh, these electrical circuits are hella hard to figure out." And my physics partner started laughing at me while I wondered how a self-inflicted bitchslap would make me look to my fellow classmates. He told me I couldn't go an hour without saying it. Pshaw, I say! So we made a bet.
And I lost within thirty minutes. Needless to say, I was hella dissapointed in myself.
Posted by Nancy at 01:54 AM
Posted by Nancy at 04:06 AM
To who it may concern,
Thank you ...
... for all the employees at Albertson's who's keyed in a dummy preferred card number, when I didnt have mine
... for that one time at Arco when that dude let me know I dropped my wallet
... for the Food Network, for providing me with quality television that I can actually use
... for soap and the people who use it
... for the internet, WORDS CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE HOW THANKFUL I AM FOR THIS!
... for the world's best aesthetic candy: Michael Vartan
... for that one time where I almost ran over a dude, but missed him by an inch
... for my mommy, who is a great victim of my cunning manipulation
... for my daddy, proof that 'dork' is a heritable trait
... for stadium seating in movie theaters
... for the free music I've downloaded the past few years
... for Mike, who helps me in all my classes despite how dumb I may appear sometimes
... for Marita, for letting me be her 'tail' when we were young
... for Lauren, who reads my site!
... for when Professor Wildy gave me a 20/20 on my population demographics report when it was ridden with tons of grammatical errors
... for the exsistence of lip balm
... for how the neighbors next door turn off the loud annoying mariachi music after I scream "TURN THE MUSIC OFF!!!" across the backyard several times
... for Charisse, my fellow gemini who rides the same wavelengths as I do
... for Che che, who doesn't hate me for poisoning her with too much alcohol
... for the pause function on my DVD player and VCR
... for Marc, who is still here even though I called him an asshole
... for Sara, who still cares despite everything thats happened
... for Husnia, who's always there to listen to me bitch about school (and everything else)
... for John, who gave me a bottle of ketchup and a pinecone for no reason
... for the existence of mullets, how they serve as a garnish for my life
... for all the A's I got in physics
... for flamin' hot Cheetos and Snapple peach iced tea - my fuel for long school days
... for Jason, whom I have very intriguing IM conversations with
... for Harry Potter, My escape for when I'm sick of reality
... for Jenae, Josh, Vicky, and Logan, for the honor of being an important person in their lives
... for my cousin Kris, that he's still alive when he disappears for weeks at a time
... for Jane, my long lost best friend, that I still get to hang out with her today
... for Vihelm, my other long lost best friend, that i still get to hang out with her today
... for anyone who's bought me an alcoholic drink
... "All I want to do is to thank you, even though I don't know who you are.. you who let me change lanes, while I was driving in my car"
... and Thank you for everything and everyone else I can't think of right now (because the voice inside my head chanting "leftover banana creme pie..." is distracting!).
Posted by Nancy at 12:50 PM
anonymous birdbrain (11:36:04 PM): he took a shit, then picked it up and threw it at my friends lage
nancys screename (11:36:12 PM): lage?
anonymous birdbrain (11:36:23 PM): yeah, i forgot how to spell that
anonymous birdbrain (11:36:29 PM): leg
anonymous birdbrain (11:36:32 PM): that's it
nancys screename (11:36:36 PM): you forgot how to spell leg?
anonymous birdbrain (11:36:40 PM): yes
anonymous birdbrain (11:36:46 PM): sometimes that happens
Oh. My. God.
Posted by Nancy at 11:42 PM
Posted by Nancy at 12:59 AM
My feelings about how this summer's going so far would best be expressed by a quote from one of my all time favorite movies, The Sandlot: "That was the summer I'd get us into the biggest pickle of our lives.."
Posted by Nancy at 11:59 AM
