October 27, 2005

The One Where My DVD Player Died

Posted by Nancy at 5:20 PM | Comments (1)

October 13, 2005

The One Where They Ruin All Of My Favorite TV Shows

After swearing I wouldn't, I'm watching Alias right now, but I'm not watching it because I have any real interest in the show, I'm just curious to see what kind of a train wreck its evolved into after killing off the most beautiful man on tv (on earth, really ... okay the Universe). And I'll admit it's kind of fun to curse at my television everytime Jennifer Garner comes on the screen.

Um why must networks ruin television shows? Everytime I have a favorite television show, they have to go ruin it! Perfect Strangers, for example. Now, Balki and Cousin Larry were perfectly happy in their Chicago apartment, but they had to ruin it by moving them into some house, and knocking Mary Anne up! See, part of the charm about that show was not knowing that Balki (and Cousin Larry) ever, ever had sexual relations, because quite frankly, it's kind of disgusting to think about. Oh yeah, by the way, why isn't this show on DVD yet?

Next, in no particular order, we have Ally McBeal. I loved loved loved this show (don't laugh)! But things just went a little wonky after Billy, the dude that Ally was trying to boink for 2 seasons ups and dies on us. And then, har har, to top it all off, he reappears as a ghost. Next!

Will and Grace. This show was the bomb (da bawmb, rather), and although I thought the show would be ruined when Jack turned out to be the father of a 12 year old kid, it didn't. He made quite a cool dad actually, and they kind of phased out the kid anyway. What ruined it for me was the fact that Grace got married. Then it became all Grace-this, Grace-that. Well, what the producers didn't know is that one way to ruin Emmy winning show is by focusing on its most annoying character. Next!

ER. The minute they hooked DR. CARTER up with that UGLY BRITISH BITCH, my libido decided it wasn't worth it anymore.

Sex and the City. Carrie should have married Aidan. Samantha should have continued in her promiscuous ways. Miranda shouldn't have moved to the Bronx. End of story.

So, not only does TV majorly suck nowadays, but they go ahead and ruin all the good shows by doing all kinds of dumb crap to it. Oh well, at least I still have Lost and South Park. I hope Lost stays good for at least the next bazillion seasons.

PS I've been sneaking peeks at Alias while writing this and the show's writers brought in another bloody double agent. Oh this time she's a blonde. This show is soooooo gonna tank. And I can't wait until it does!

Posted by Nancy at 8:40 PM | Comments (0)

October 11, 2005

The One Where I Miss Kettle Corn

In between begrudgingly writing resume cover letters and banging my head on the wall, I've been pretty bored. There is nothing to do. I've already eaten all of the Flamin' Hot Cheetos and rewatched all of the episodes of Lost on DVD, I've even gotten kind of sick of watching Monster-In-Law over and over and over again (I can't believe I said that, but even "pause" fingers get tired once in a while). I'ave actualy resorted to watching the playoffs on ESPN, which is entertaining enough I guess. But it only reminds me of how I have to wait 6 months before I can ever set foot into SBC Park again. I miss the kettle corn. In fact I'm not sure what I miss more, watching the Giants play baseball in the flesh, or eating from awesome 2-foot-long bag full of semi-salty, semi-sweet goodness. All for only five dollars. I guess I could get kettle corn elsewhere, but it's just not the same.. It's not the same eating it without an awesome view of the bay, balls flying around the park, and your Dirrrty friend going over how many positions she'd like to do it with JT Snow.

Oh yeah, and just so anyone who reads this knows, microwaveable kettle corn sucks.

Posted by Nancy at 3:35 PM | Comments (1)

October 9, 2005

The One Where I Don't Like Alias

Just a bit of trivia, which I thought was very cool:

In season 4 [of Alias], episode 3, at Weiss' birthday party, while Sydney and Jack are talking outside, a song called "You All Everybody" can be heard playing inside the house. This song is the made-up hit single of Drive Shaft, the fictional band in which Dominic Monaghan's character Charlie supposedly played in Lost, the other series by Alias creator/executive producer J.J. Abrams.

PS. I'm still boycotting Alias. I think. Lost is a much better show, because the lead actress isn't a traitor by dating a hot lead actor co-star only to cheat on him with another really ugly and gross co-star from a previous project which then leads to awkward tension on the set in which high-and-mighty lead actress, who gets knocked up by the way, decides that the producers FIRE the hot lead actor, ruining not only the show's storylines, but the lives of the show's female audience. So yeah, I highly recommend Lost.

Posted by Nancy at 4:45 AM | Comments (4)

October 7, 2005

The One Where You Dead Relatives Can Be Jewelry

Whoa. Anyone hear about this? Some company is manufacturing jewelry that is made from cremated ashes.

"[LifeGem] uses super-hot ovens to transform [cremated] ashes to graphite and then presses the stone into blue and yellow diamonds that retail for anywhere from 2,700 to 20,000 dollars."

It's one thing to use you're great-grandmother's antique ring to propose to your girlfriend, but to use your great-grandmother's actual remains ... well, there's something entirely wrong about that.

Posted by Nancy at 1:53 AM | Comments (1)

October 5, 2005

The One Where Britney's Utterly Disgusting Flip Flops Are For Sale

Attention perverts of the world: Britney is selling her trash on eBay! And I mean that literally.

I don't know whats more disgusting, someone putting up their used cootie infested flip flops up for sale, or the fact that as of this moment, people have bid over $400 dollars for it.

She's even got a few used couches up there too ... Wow, I just got an STD just thinking about purchasing a couch that most likely has come into contact with Kevin Federline's bodily fluids. Ooh, shudder.

I wish I were her right now, actually. I have a wastebasket full of used tissues and phlegm that I'd be interested in selling.

Posted by Nancy at 2:36 AM | Comments (2)

October 1, 2005

The One Where My Goldfish Is Bulimic

I'm about 75% asleep right now, thanks to one hefty dose of Robitussin CF, but am fighting to stay awake to see the 40-year-old Virgin host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. It's a little strange, but I'm feeling a little hammered from the cough syrup, and am going to use this oppurtunity to yammer on about my goldfish (as if I needed an excuse!).

I think my goldfish is bulimic, he keeps spitting out his food. I go out of my way to find him the most premium of gourmet goldfish flakes and he spits all of it out everytime I try to feed him. And then, he proceeds to chase around the little bits of spit-out food right before they make their way into the filter intake. I don't get it, he has no problem eating his own poop. Is he suffering from a self-image issue? Maybe I should position a mirror in front of his tank so he can see he has nothing to worry about. Don't worry Freddy, you're not fat, and you deserve to eat good food that didn't just come out of your ass!

Posted by Nancy at 11:17 PM | Comments (5)