September 29, 2005
The One Where I'm Not Watching Alias Anymore
Well, that does it. I'm not watching 'Alias' anymore.
Posted by Nancy at 9:39 PM | Comments (3)
September 28, 2005
The One Where The Giants Lost The Division
That's alright, at least you guys don't have to put up with the burden of having to enter the postseason with the worst record ever.
And at least you guys still beat the Dodgers.
And you guys got Randy Winn, sheeeit (we better see him next season)!
And at least you have the best TV broadcasters in the world.
And at least your ballpark isn't called something lame.
And at least your shortshop is awesome and doesn't look like some redneck serial killer.
So you really did kind of win. Go Giants!
And the post season depression starts. How many days left until April?
Posted by Nancy at 11:12 PM | Comments (1)
September 26, 2005
The One Where Randy Winn Is God
The best thing to come out of Seattle since Starbucks.
Posted by Nancy at 11:39 PM | Comments (1)
September 25, 2005
The One Where I Saw Green Day In Concert
I think after last night, I officially have a thing for guys who wear eyeliner (except for Robert Smith):
The show was pretty much perfect, as was expected, I only have two complaints:
a) They didn't play "When I Come Around", and
b) I was pressed up (unwillingly) against this chihuahua of a girl who kept yelling in my ear. Girl, I know you were excited and all, but the fact that the stage hands were spraying water on the audience is hardly worth making me partially deaf in my right ear.
PS. (What the hell is "This Time Around?" My bad.)
Posted by Nancy at 3:00 PM | Comments (0)
September 21, 2005
The One With The Virgin Mary Sonogram
A couple is selling a sonogram of their unborn child on eBay, claiming that you can see the Virgin Mary on it.
Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure you look hard enough on any sonogram, you can see just about anything you want; a nice frothy frappuccino, or a donkey sucking on Hilter's balls for instance. In fact, I'm pretty sure you can see a donkey sucking on Hilter's balls on my very own sonogram. I'm going to ask my mom where it is right now, I could use a little cash to buy that plasma TV I've been eyeing.
P.S. The Giants-Nationals game last night was like, so awesome.
Posted by Nancy at 1:21 PM | Comments (1)
September 18, 2005
The One Where Matheny Gets Ass-raped By The Umpire
I'm highly immature and I don't care. That being said:
(Giants vs. Dodgers)
Section 110 at SBC Park gives you a great view of some umpire-catcher action.
Posted by Nancy at 11:44 PM | Comments (4)
September 17, 2005
The One Where My Goldfish Ate His Own Poop
I just came home from an awesome Giants-Dodgers game and I am quite buzzed off a few drinks from MoMo's (the beloved White Russian, what else?), I come home to feed my fish, and witness him eat his own feces. What kind of dumbass fish would mistake his own feces from a Tetra goldfish flake? Should I be worried? Google isn't helping much at all.
Posted by Nancy at 2:18 AM | Comments (1)
September 14, 2005
The One Where Britney Gives Birth
So, Britney Spears finally gave birth to Kevin Federline's kid (shudder). That explains why I saw the four horsemen of the apocalypse on my way home from the mall today.
Posted by Nancy at 3:41 PM | Comments (0)
September 10, 2005
The One Where Noah Lowry Could Be Jesse Metcalfe
Noah Lowry = The gardener on Desperate Housewives that Mrs. Solis is having an affair with?
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P.S. BARRY BONDS IS BACK!
P.P.S. I can't believe I just kind of admitted that I watch Desperate Housewives.
Posted by Nancy at 3:23 PM | Comments (1)
September 9, 2005
The One Where I Answer More Q&A
I updated the Q&A with the following questions. I love the nuts that read my site.
Q: Maybe you do or maybe you don't, but i don't know so maybe we can trade links?
A: Nothing would delight me more than to trade links with anyone!
Q: Youre hot, dont you have anything better to do? Maybe write a book?
A: Any book that I would write would be banned by libraries even before I wrote it.
Q: What type of metabolism does a chipmunk have out of these following systems... resperatory, circulatory, digestive, skelatal, or nervous?
A: That question makes no sense whatsoever. It really doesn't. You get an F in Zoology.
Q: Why are science majors so uptight? Also, Why do bo majors have a thing for young looking white boys up end up with fat bald principal type men??? Huh?
A: We Science majors are so damn smart that our large brains are on the verge of exploding every minute of every day. That's what makes us so uptight. Wouldn't you be too if you constantly had to worry about brain matter spewing out of your skull due to your prodigious intellect? And as far as the white boy thing, I can identify with that, it's probably a side effect from our genius personalities and humongous brains. The fat bald principal type men thing ... well that's an anomaly. Can't really answer that for ya.
Q: What do you think is an ideal size erect penis and what size is just too tiny to do anything for you? Be honest!
A: Something like this would be enough to satisfy me. Anything less, no thank you.
Q: How can I get that smell out of my new luggage before I pack my clothes?
A: Febreze, if it's one of those cheap luggages they make in China. If you purchase a nice, high end piece of luggage from Macy's or something, the new luggage smell is quite nice. I learned that recently.
Q: how is your love life?
A: It's quite hard juggling 5 celebrity boyfriends, but I'm determined to make it work. Thanks for asking though.
Q: i think ur totally hott. would u ever date me? im a lesbian?xx
A: I'm 110% straight, and I am 500% sure that I would never swing the other way, but if I did, I'm afraid I'm reserved for another. Sorry.
Q: since you dont do online dating can i ask you out on real life dating? :)
A: I don't want to meet anyone online, sorry.
Posted by Nancy at 1:20 AM | Comments (1)
September 8, 2005
The One With The 40-Year-Old Virgin
My new desktop wallpaper:
The movie is totally awesome! Funniest movie I've seen all year!
"You gotta plant the seed. You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. Then you've gotta fuck the plant."
Posted by Nancy at 1:22 AM | Comments (0)
September 3, 2005
The One Where I Adopt Freddy
Meet Freddy the fish!
I won him about two weeks ago at the county fair. I paid a dollar for 7 ping pong balls and he became mine when my 6th ball landed in the bowl. So essentially, he costed a dollar. But since then, I've spent about 30+ dollars on gravel, bowl cleaner, anti-parasite food, water conditioner, food, and ammonia test kit. And I clean out his poop every other day. But that's okay. I'm determined to keep him alive, as almost every other creature who's had the unfortunate experience of having me take care of it has died. As long as he's one happy little fishy, swimming around happily with fat turds hanging from his ass (see above).
Posted by Nancy at 1:33 PM | Comments (2)
September 2, 2005
The One Where I Want To Kick This Guys Ass
Don't you just want to kick this guys ass?
And when I say kick, I mean beat the living crap out of him and maybe even his mom too?
Posted by Nancy at 6:28 PM | Comments (1)
